Showing posts with label prayer. Show all posts
Showing posts with label prayer. Show all posts

Saturday, October 10, 2009

Thoughts on St. Therese and Washing Dishes

I really dislike washing dishes. There are no worse household chores than those involving the kitchen. Unfortunately, this also happens to be the one chore that must be dome everyday, several times a day. The consequences of neglecting kitchen duty are unmentionable. I often dream of buying less food in order to make room in the budget for disposable paper products. Sadly my “green” conscience won’t let me produce that much waste, even for the benefit of not having to wash dishes.
Another option I’ve considered dates back to colonial times. In those days dishes and utensils were rather scarce. Since there were no Walmarts or Williams-Sonomas in the wild forests of Virginia, the colonists had to make their own eating devices. Just one of their methods involved carving indentations in the tables where the food could be set. When everyone finished eating the table was wiped clean and that was that. NO DISHES TO WASH! The problem is, I’m pretty sure my black pressed particle board table would not be very pretty with sawdust colored grooves carved into it. I don’t imagine it would clean up well either, not to mention the fact that my family would think I’d gone nuts! Other colonists would carve a trencher out of a small log (a sort of rectangular shaped bowl) and then the family would take turns eating out of it. Voila- only one dish to wash! Of course, I would still have to wash it between each eater- no one wants to eat out of a dirty trencher- so scrap that idea. No good. I guess my only recourse is just to wash the darn dishes.
A few months ago I read St. Therese of Lisieux’s autobiography, The Story of a Soul, for the first time. I am kicking myself for not reading it earlier- like when I was a teenager! I connected with her on so many levels, but the idea that struck me most was her “Little Way.” God is everywhere- even in the ordinary, simple details of life. Like washing dishes. God has given each of us a task- our daily duty- and we glorify God by doing that to the best of our ability every single day. Every task can be a prayer offered to God. She said, “What matters in life is not great deeds, but great love.” The smallest action done with love can be more important than any great deeds a person does for personal glory.
When I was younger I had big plans. I was not going to be at home washing dishes. I was going to be out in the world making a difference. I imagined myself as a type of lay Mother Theresa, feeding and educating the poor in developing countries. It was a dream I had since I was a small girl and it was hard to let go. But God had other plans for me. I was dreaming too big. He still wanted me to dream big, but in a “Little Way.”
“Our Lord has deigned to explain this mystery to me. He showed me the book of nature, and I understood that every flower created by Him is beautiful, that the brilliance of the rose and the whiteness of the lily do not lesson the perfume of the violet or the sweet simplicity of the daisy. I understood that if all the lowly flowers wished to be roses, nature would lose its springtide beauty, and the fields would no longer be enamelled with lovely hues.And so it is in the world of souls, Our Lord’s living garden. He has been pleased to create great Saints who may be compared to the lily and the rose, but He has also created lesser ones, who must be content to be daisies or simple violets flowering at His Feet, and whose mission it is to gladden His Divine Eyes when He deigns to look down on them. And the more gladly they do His Will the greater is their perfection.
I understood this also, that God’s Love is made manifest as well in a simple soul which does not resist His grace as in one more highly endowed. In fact, the characteristic of love being self-abasement, if all souls resembled the holy Doctors who have illuminated the Church, it seems that God in coming to them would not stoop low enough. But He has created the little child, who knows nothing and can but utter feeble cries, and the poor savage who has only the natural law to guide him, and it is to their hearts that He deigns to stoop. These are the field flowers whose simplicity charms Him; and by His condescension to them Our Saviour shows His infinite greatness. As the sun shines both on the cedar and on the floweret, so the Divine Sun illumines every soul, great and small, and all correspond to His care–just as in nature the seasons are so disposed that on the appointed day the humblest daisy shall unfold its petals.” (St. Therese of Lisieux, The Story of a Soul)
My great works are being done at home, for my family and those around me in my own community. My role for now is to be a wife and mother- the best I can be. I can teach my children about compassion and generosity and love. I can teach the importance of doing God’s will everyday, even when it involves only wiping countertops and cleaning the same dirty dishes everyday, three times per day. I still abhor dish washing. But I can wash them with love for my family and for God and know I am doing exactly what He wants me to be doing.

Tuesday, August 25, 2009

Home is Where the Heart Is

Lately, I’ve been chafing over the size of my apartment. It’s too small, I would tell anyone who’d listen. My prayers revolved around getting a home of my own. A house, I just knew, would solve all of my problems! Right now, there are five of us living in a two-bedroom apartment. Sounds miserable, doesn’t it? I did a good job convincing myself that it was. We need more space, I wanted to scream. Nothing too big or fancy, I’d pray. Just two or three thousand square feet. My request was so humble, and so deserved, I knew God would answer my prayer and hand me a large cookie-cutter house in the suburbs for an amazingly low price.
Luckily for me, He had other plans. I don’t get any house right now, large or small, midtown or suburb. I get to stay in my apartment. When I first realized this, I was feeling quite blue. Dry martyrdom, that’s my lot in life. I pictured myself among the squalor, eyes raised to heaven in suffering submission, as bodies fought to get past each other just to get a drink of water or use the bathroom. Welcome to my hovel. My misery was trickling down to my kids. Since I was miserable in this small, small space, then they must be too. They too were convinced that a house would solve their problems. It’s true that Mom sets the tone of the home!
About the time I realized how stinky my attitude on life in general had become, I understood that that attitude was spilling over into my perception of my home. Yes, there are five of us sharing a two-bedroom apartment, but did I mention that it was an 1100 square-foot apartment? It hasn’t shrunk since we happily moved in, oohing and awing over the size of it. Seriously, many of the houses in our price range were smaller than this apartment. My three kids may share a room, but not only is there room for their beds and dressers, we also fit in three toy boxes and two bookshelves. Not to mention all the cleared space they have in the room for playing. I decided to go through each room, noting its size and merits, reminding myself why this really is a great apartment.
The conclusion I came to was… I had too much stuff! A little purging and rearranging will open our large spaces up even more. What better place to start blooming where I am planted than in my home? My children start school next week and I’ll have to dedicate most of my time to teaching them, so this week (and the past few since I’ve had this revelation) is purging and spring cleaning week. I will make this apartment a happy, comfy home again!

Sunday, August 16, 2009

It's All About Attitude

“A happy person is not a person in a certain set of circumstances, but rather a person with a certain set of attitudes.” Hugh Downs
I have been having one of those years. I’ve been having one of those years for years. My whole life has been spent planning what I’ll do when things get better. I have been waiting for the ideal circumstances in order to begin living my life for as long as I can remember. Oh, have I been praying for God to change things! He has finally answered my prayer, but not in the way I thought He would, of course. After many subtle (and some not-so-subtle) hints, I can see that life isn’t ideal. It really won’t ever be ideal. By nature we are sinful and this really puts a damper on living a perfect life. But it’s also what makes great saints- people who take what they are given and do their absolute best with it in less than ideal circumstances. I strongly believe in free will, but I also strongly believe that God always puts people in certain times, places and/or circumstances for a purpose. It’s then up to the person to choose to do what he or she was meant to do.
That is what I plan to do from now on. God has so much He wants me to do now. Not later. Now. Also, lately I have become quite pessimistic, and I fear, somewhat bitter. That’s not who I am. Usually I am the incurable optimist- nothing gets me down! So I have decided to really put my life into God’s hands this time, and leave it there. (I tend to take it back a lot.) I will learn to be content with ALL of my life and circumstances and live each day to the fullest. To the best of my ability I will do God’s will each day, even with the small stuff.